The Search

We all grow up searching, and even when we are "grown" (which I am trying to figure out if I am really grown if I still giggle every time my husband or I toot?), we are still searching. We are entangled in many searches throughout our life here on Earth.

The search for adventure. Search for our identity. Search for our faith. Search for security. Search for food. Search for our soul mates. Search for our purpose in this world. Search for acceptance. Search for a place to grow old. Search for a perfect, cuddly puppy. Search for significance. Search for a place to call home. Search for a career.

We are all constantly searching. Sometimes our searches are short-lived. Sometimes we give up, or sometimes they just die out. We lose hope. Our motivation diminishes. Whatever.

Or, the more hopeful result: WE FIND WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR. After many years of the Lord molding my faith, character, personality, testimony, and desires, He allowed my search for a partner to walk hand-in-hand with me for the next one-hundred years on this Earth to be over. Hello, Daniel:) And throughout this process, also called LIFE, other searches were successfully conquered too. I got an education that (hopefully) has prepared me for my place in the work force. I developed a sense of dependency on my faith (Jesus) that had never existed before the age of 19. Through learning to see myself as the Lord sees me, I have found my identification. I am fully accepted....JUST. AS. I. AM.

But thankfully, He also loves me enough not to let me stay this way. I am a walking, breathing, flawed human being. Just ask my husband:) But the good news is that the Lord is changing me every day. I am realizing new things about Him and about myself all the time. I have shattered the confidence and trust of many people that I love countless times before because of my own wretched heart (and I am sorry if you are reading this and know exactly what I am talking about from personal experience). This is one search that is never over. I will never "conquer" this search and have perfect faith. It is a life-long process. This daily relationship with Jesus is my hope for continuing on this search and my many others.

The Bible reminded me the other day that the Lord is with me in all of my searches. Even the career one. There are times that I believe many lies:
"I will never get a full-time job because I am underqualified."
"I will never get a full-time job because we are in a recession and soooo many more people are more qualified than me."
"I will never get a full-time job because I don't have any real skills."
"There are just simply no jobs out there".

Hear me say that I believe that there is an element of truth in all of those lies. We are in a recession. Many people are WAY more qualified than me. I don't have a ton of skills because I don't have a whole lot of experience. BUT, they became lies to me when I started believing that THEY were ruling my life and circumstances, not God. "God is big, but this recession is pretty big too" was my thinking. It was a complete and utter lack of faith.

Now, God has not presented any great full-time job opportunity or anything grand like that, but He has redeemed those lies from my heart and replaced them with His truth.

"For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the Earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His...." (2 Chronicles 16:9).

The Lord has not forgotten about me. The Lord is in control of all the economies and markets in the entire world. The Lord knows every CEO and President of every great company out there. He could place me in whatever position He desired in whatever company. But for right now, His purpose is for me to help market my Chick-fil-A store. Period. I must accept His will for my life right now, even though it is not exactly what I had expected to be doing at this point in my life. However, I will continue my job search for full-time work and patiently wait on the Lord to open doors.

The Lord is with you too. He knows what your heart desires. He knows what searches you are on, and what voids you are trying to fill. He knows what lies you are believing. He knows what even your closest friend, mother, or husband may not know is going on in your head and heart. Seek His Truth.

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On a lighter note, HAPPY ALMOST EASTER!!

Last night was date night at the Smith residence. Daniel and I really try to be intentional about spending quality time together, so we clear our schedules one night a week and from the moment he gets off work, it is "our time". It's nothing fancy at all, we usually just go out to dinner (so I don't have to cook and do dishes) and enjoy each others' company. So last night "date night" involved picking up fast food and bringing it home so we could color easter eggs! I don't ever remember doing this growing up, but Mom says she knows we did it because one year Summer thought she would continue to enjoy the Easter celebration and hid an easter egg in her bedroom. A little while later, Mom began noticing a smell...you guessed it! Summer's rotten egg! Anyways, TA DA! We hope you have a Happy Easter!


Have time for one more quick story? Daniel will probably KILL me for posting this, but aren't you supposed to skip permission and ask for forgiveness later?:)
I was trying to look at all the nutritional info on Subway before we went to the restaurant so I would know exactly what I wanted on my sandwich and I wouldn't be that girl in the line, but I couldn't help noticing all the chaos around me. I'm not sure who was chasing who, who eventually won, or if there even was a winner, but this was the final outcome.


Lady was in the house (a rare treat!) and of course, she was already bouncing off the walls. Somehow a game of "chase" began...and Daniel and Lady ran in circles and circles and circles and more circles...through my kitchen...more circles....down the hallway...more circles...back through the living room...more circles. Finally, those two passed out in the floor, both panting. Literally.

I think someone has a new buddy:)

A Few of My Favorite Things....

Last night while I was lounging in my big, comfy, over-stuffed chair waiting on D to come home and fix my head ache (I know he isn't capable of doing that, but somehow things just seem to get better once he comes home), I was thinking. Thinking about all that has changed in the past year. Where I was a year ago this time. Where my heart was. Where my roommates were was the real question! We all got soooo busy that the boulevard just kind of became a place where we all stopped by to change clothes, catch a little shut-eye, and maybe mumble "hey i miss you" as we passed each other by. Then, July 31st came, and we all moved out. Just. Like. That.

So anyways, the point is last night, while I was cussing all this bad weather out in my head because it has overstayed its welcome and was the source of my headache, I realized how much I receive from the people I love, and even more so, directly from the Lord, since He is the giver of all things.

Companionship. Laughter. Joyful Tears. Accountability. Encouragement. Affirmation. Honesty. Heart Analyzation. Realizing What Sin Is In My Heart That Is Affecting My Relationship With The Lord. Growth. Compassion.

These are just a few things that come to mind. Today, I am thankful to You, for everything you have given me through my relationships with friends, roommates, sisters, mothers, aunts, fathers, and co-workers.

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My Boulevard Girls:
I LOVE when we used to:
1. Put pretend throw-up on Brittney's floor and pretend one of the dogs had gotten sick.
2. Do Bible studies at like 5a.m. in the morning
3. Learn how to cook together
4. Watch Grey's Anatomy together
5. Argue about who hadn't been unloading the dishwasher
6. Listen to Bon-Bon drunkly ramble about losing Maggie
7. Steal the neighbor's kittens and put them in stripped rainboots for a photo shoot
8. Dress Betsy and Lady alike when they were little girls
9. Make Scotty turn off the power to Britt's room while we squealed with excitement from Kirb's room waiting for her to come confront us!
10. Be good neighbors and call the police when strange men used to walk up in our yard at midnight and ask to use our house phone.
11. Watch Aunt Kim lay out in her driveway everyday while collecting unemployment.
12. Watch Bon Bon drive that old little car 2 driveways up to Aunt Kims for a deal to go down.
13. Doing the exercise hula-hoop
14. Having some pretty tense house meetings
15. Making Lady and Betsy "put their head down" before they got anything they wanted

My D:
I Love When You:
1. Pop my foot blisters after a long day at the gym
2. Say things like "I would love to make you coffee to help you wake up but I don't know how to work the coffee pot"
3. Build fires on cold nights while I sit in the chair with blankets whining "Ddddddddddddddddddddddd, I'mmmmmmmm ccccccccccooooooooolllllllllllddddddddd" as though you're not doing anything about it:)
3. Are a handy man and put up blinds around the house because I'm afraid someone could be peeping in on me in the dark!
4. Get up and "check" the house in such a unafraid manner when I wake you up and say that I can't sleep because I "heard something"....you're so manly
5. Come home right at 5:00 after work to take me on dates
6. Lock and dead bolt the doors when you leave in the mornings to keep my safe while I'm still asleep
7. Grill an extra hot dog for Lady
8. Kiss me goodbye every morning before you leave for work
9. EVERYTHING ELSE YOU DO, I LOVE YOU!

Mama T and Heather:
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE:
1. When yall have doctors appointments in Atlanta and we make it a girls day and go shopping:)
2. Helping/Learning how to cook with yall
3. Staying at your house when bad weather comes our way
4. The carpet in the den (take this as a warning, Mama T! I won't be a happy girl when it comes up!)
5. Taking care of our boys together, whether it be talking about having to force them to go to the doctor or buying them new shirts because we decided that it was that time.
6. Going to the beach/lake/concerts! So much fun with yall (Heather).
7. Sitting around in Dahlonega and then going downtown and buying fudge:)
8. Making Christmas plates full of goodies
9. Trying a new diet or at least talking about trying a new one every week

Mama Joan:
I LOVE THAT:
1. I can ALWAYSSS find something to laugh about when you are around...you are just toooooo stinkin' cute!
2. I can always call you and ask you a question about Jesus' life and you ALWAYS seem to know the answer! You are such a little brain!
3. You loved me enough growing up to do what was not always easy or pleasing to me, but what would develop my character and maturity.
**"Those who love their children care enough to discipline them."
Proverbs 13:24
4. We can sit and chat over coffee alllll morning long.
5. We're usually still in our pajama's at lunch time after our morning coffee:)
6. You have excellent style in decorating, and you came and stayed a week at my house helping me paint and get some decorating direction!
7. You love my husband and treat him kindly and with much respect.
8. You are so artsy and love scrapbooking (something I admire, but have not desire to do myself...maybe you'll do it for me one day? :)
9. You and Daddy are not only still married, but still in love after all these years.
10. Daddy goes to see boring plays with you.
11. You are a good hostess when we come home and have everything clean and ready for us (Thank you!)
12. You buy the whole family matching pajamas that we wear every year on Christmas Eve and take pictures together

My Sisters:
I Love That:
1. We grew up sharing rooms with each other...and 1 bathroom...it has made me very efficient at getting dressed, which my husband appreciates because I'm not one of those girls that you have to wait hours on for me to get ready
2. Yall are all another mother to me in one way or another
3. The fact that NONE OF YALL can keep a secret to save your life! If I tell one sister something, I don't even have to worry about calling the other ones and telling them, it will be taken care of for me!
4. We keep in contact with each other and leave voicemails accusing you of being shady if you don't answer your phone when we call
5. We all have the same sense of humor and can take jokes well (you must have thick skin to be a Childs girl)
6. Yall were the best wedding planners a bride could ever ask for! Each one of you were always asking me which tasks could you help with next.

All in all, the Good Lord reminded me last night of how important relationships are. All that He teaches us through them. All that He provides for us through them. They are a good thing, especially when we experience God's love, forgiveness, grace, and compassion in them. I think this is exactly what the Lord was telling us in the Bible when it says, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8). Human relationships are an important part of knowing the Lord, and they can have a deep impact on your relationship with the Lord if you allow them to. So let's get honest with each other and really learn what it means to love each other deeply. I'm up for the challenge.

I must say though, I think I like my relationship with Daniel the best...Sorry girls, I'm a little partial:) No one else would come home on their lunch break to kill a wasp in the house for me!