The Search

We all grow up searching, and even when we are "grown" (which I am trying to figure out if I am really grown if I still giggle every time my husband or I toot?), we are still searching. We are entangled in many searches throughout our life here on Earth.

The search for adventure. Search for our identity. Search for our faith. Search for security. Search for food. Search for our soul mates. Search for our purpose in this world. Search for acceptance. Search for a place to grow old. Search for a perfect, cuddly puppy. Search for significance. Search for a place to call home. Search for a career.

We are all constantly searching. Sometimes our searches are short-lived. Sometimes we give up, or sometimes they just die out. We lose hope. Our motivation diminishes. Whatever.

Or, the more hopeful result: WE FIND WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR. After many years of the Lord molding my faith, character, personality, testimony, and desires, He allowed my search for a partner to walk hand-in-hand with me for the next one-hundred years on this Earth to be over. Hello, Daniel:) And throughout this process, also called LIFE, other searches were successfully conquered too. I got an education that (hopefully) has prepared me for my place in the work force. I developed a sense of dependency on my faith (Jesus) that had never existed before the age of 19. Through learning to see myself as the Lord sees me, I have found my identification. I am fully accepted....JUST. AS. I. AM.

But thankfully, He also loves me enough not to let me stay this way. I am a walking, breathing, flawed human being. Just ask my husband:) But the good news is that the Lord is changing me every day. I am realizing new things about Him and about myself all the time. I have shattered the confidence and trust of many people that I love countless times before because of my own wretched heart (and I am sorry if you are reading this and know exactly what I am talking about from personal experience). This is one search that is never over. I will never "conquer" this search and have perfect faith. It is a life-long process. This daily relationship with Jesus is my hope for continuing on this search and my many others.

The Bible reminded me the other day that the Lord is with me in all of my searches. Even the career one. There are times that I believe many lies:
"I will never get a full-time job because I am underqualified."
"I will never get a full-time job because we are in a recession and soooo many more people are more qualified than me."
"I will never get a full-time job because I don't have any real skills."
"There are just simply no jobs out there".

Hear me say that I believe that there is an element of truth in all of those lies. We are in a recession. Many people are WAY more qualified than me. I don't have a ton of skills because I don't have a whole lot of experience. BUT, they became lies to me when I started believing that THEY were ruling my life and circumstances, not God. "God is big, but this recession is pretty big too" was my thinking. It was a complete and utter lack of faith.

Now, God has not presented any great full-time job opportunity or anything grand like that, but He has redeemed those lies from my heart and replaced them with His truth.

"For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the Earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His...." (2 Chronicles 16:9).

The Lord has not forgotten about me. The Lord is in control of all the economies and markets in the entire world. The Lord knows every CEO and President of every great company out there. He could place me in whatever position He desired in whatever company. But for right now, His purpose is for me to help market my Chick-fil-A store. Period. I must accept His will for my life right now, even though it is not exactly what I had expected to be doing at this point in my life. However, I will continue my job search for full-time work and patiently wait on the Lord to open doors.

The Lord is with you too. He knows what your heart desires. He knows what searches you are on, and what voids you are trying to fill. He knows what lies you are believing. He knows what even your closest friend, mother, or husband may not know is going on in your head and heart. Seek His Truth.

**********************************************************************************
On a lighter note, HAPPY ALMOST EASTER!!

Last night was date night at the Smith residence. Daniel and I really try to be intentional about spending quality time together, so we clear our schedules one night a week and from the moment he gets off work, it is "our time". It's nothing fancy at all, we usually just go out to dinner (so I don't have to cook and do dishes) and enjoy each others' company. So last night "date night" involved picking up fast food and bringing it home so we could color easter eggs! I don't ever remember doing this growing up, but Mom says she knows we did it because one year Summer thought she would continue to enjoy the Easter celebration and hid an easter egg in her bedroom. A little while later, Mom began noticing a smell...you guessed it! Summer's rotten egg! Anyways, TA DA! We hope you have a Happy Easter!


Have time for one more quick story? Daniel will probably KILL me for posting this, but aren't you supposed to skip permission and ask for forgiveness later?:)
I was trying to look at all the nutritional info on Subway before we went to the restaurant so I would know exactly what I wanted on my sandwich and I wouldn't be that girl in the line, but I couldn't help noticing all the chaos around me. I'm not sure who was chasing who, who eventually won, or if there even was a winner, but this was the final outcome.


Lady was in the house (a rare treat!) and of course, she was already bouncing off the walls. Somehow a game of "chase" began...and Daniel and Lady ran in circles and circles and circles and more circles...through my kitchen...more circles....down the hallway...more circles...back through the living room...more circles. Finally, those two passed out in the floor, both panting. Literally.

I think someone has a new buddy:)